Saturday, February 27, 2010


but then again at times, we see what we want to see


perception is subjective

so to step out of that subjective viewing

objectively; without bias.
we do see like this, too.

can one see, as well as, see?

i think so.

wait for it.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 7:50 PM
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Friday, February 26, 2010


it's 12:28 am. friday.


i've been in bed since 5:30 pm. thursday.

i am battling...a cold!! theraflu, shitload of vitamin C!, and i even gave myself an olive oil and cayenne pepper foot massage. my sinuses will be cleared now :)


the trombonist cleaned his living room. i couldn't resist taking pictures of this snazzy room. and yes, we are always on the dance move. i love this house. and its inhabitants. good times.


i'm listening to itunes on shuffle. i love it. currently, mussorgsky is playing. it is intensely snow storming outside. it is a good evening to stay home ☃

time for a 1 am bowl of cereal, i'm excited. then episode 32 of soul eater. it is getting intense. you really feel for the characters. its becoming mind trickology and the like.


(by the way, i can once again breathe through my nose. success! i in no way feel like posting anything substantial and weighty today. we'll see about tomorrow.)

♥!

Posted by Posted by illusion at 2:32 AM
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Tuesday, February 23, 2010


it's nighttime. and it's raining outside. wonderful ^_^


i'm studying for my business test tomorrow. first test x_X!! i've been distracted *all* day. so i decided that i work best at night since every time i procrastinate i seem to get my work done at that point in time.

that was a badass run on sentence.

i went to an awesome show the other night at webster hall to see a friend's band, 'the alternative outfit'. (good times! the band did superb!) i got lucky and went alone ^_^;; that meant i was able to freely walk around and take pictures(+ secretly watch people). i met two other photographers! also, as random as you could imagine, mother nevada poked me on the shoulder! we played a show together a year or so ago in new brunswick (allupons first show, what what!). i liked his music style. very chill.

stairs leading from webster hall, down to it's studio bar&stage. think about this. living in a house with a stair well like this one. how beautiful. the colors you could come up with. i am particularly enjoying their scheme at the moment.

alright. i've waited long enough.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 1:20 AM
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Saturday, February 20, 2010


life gives you learning chances all the time; you just have to look for it. and see them. retrospect is one of the best and worst teachers. second chances aren't always given...use what you've learned the first time, and really apply it. not only to retrospect. you can't change it afterwards. but to a situation where you have already seen the signs//

you see the trails of the snake in the ground...what do you think lies ahead?

what is this life i am living? i am just living. this is not what i wanted. fin.

emotions are...interconnected. actions given based on emotions presented. see everything, as in the whole picture. i wish things were like chess. they can be. all possible worlds; all solutions. in too deep at times. stop and assess. monitor and adjust. practice. observe.

feel. please, start feeling life. feel its happiness, its pain. feel its truth, as well as its lies. see through people and their actions.

..but how do you know if you are realizing truth?

i don't know.

perhaps if you believe it/doesn't matter if no one else believes it but you.

eh. im done. it's 11:17 am, saturday morning, and i don't want this weight on my shoulders this early in my day...and i have not left my bed as of yet. i'm going to relax my mind a bit and stretch: get my body limber so i can overcome any physical obstacle that will manifest in front of me!! and because it feels good ^^;;

i don't exactly feel like making sense with these written thoughts. pardons to the reader if it all seems jumbled and sporadic.

it is.



it has to end
living in your head
without anything to numb you
living on the edge
without anything to numb you



it has to end to begin.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 1:54 PM
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Thursday, February 18, 2010


I fuck with your soul like ether

will teach you the king you know you
not "god's son" across the belly
lose I prove you lost already

Posted by Posted by illusion at 1:33 PM
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Wednesday, February 17, 2010



i am hooked.

my terrorism & political violence class starts in 40 minutes. im currently sitting on my bed in pajamas barefoot listening to music. i still need to get dressed, drive there, and walk to my class ::sigh:: id like to write more. don't get me wrong. it's a great class...im just...comfortable.

when i return. promise ♥

Posted by Posted by illusion at 3:29 PM
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Monday, February 15, 2010


in the kitchen we have this great calendar. a spontaneous buy on sarah's part. every day is a different tangram!!! some are easy...and some are real tricky.

attempt #1.



attempt #2. >_< !!!


huzzah! great success! but wait. the tangram gods are angry for our lies. trickology!

we knew we were incorrect, too.


we had to see the right way -_-;;

take that, bitches

Posted by Posted by illusion at 9:26 PM
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Friday, February 12, 2010


finished! our new shoe cabinet thingy. when i found it, it was white; i think it looks better in red. what say you?


note: patron was not ingested ^_^;;; though i would not have declined...

meet me halfway
right at the borderline
that's where i'm going to wait for you
i'll be looking out, night and day
took my heart to the limit
and this is where i'll stay

i can't go any further than this. i want you so badly...it's my biggest wish.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 10:22 PM
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...

sometimes i really forget that these things, as well as others, are public.


-_-;;


check this out :) its my band, the allupons, long awaited first single 'over again'
(p.s. it only requires an email! promise!)

&!


my dear friend, jeff, had an awesome band called flash2flash, but then life happened to everyone. and jeff realized, he had to 'do him'. here it is. album: 'crave no more'. he invited some friends to lend a helping hand in its creation :)

Posted by Posted by illusion at 3:48 AM
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::sigh:: today was NOT a good day for the nails x_X we shall try again tomorrow. i was doing so well too :/

i love graffiti.


...and i really enjoi this picture.



dance class was fun today. we're staring a new projeckt for womyn's history month (i think?) they wanted an elegant piece. they emphasized on the elegance of it after they saw our african dance ^_^;; that makes me chuckle. im hoping i get those african dance pictures soon..

tomorrow, i shall put up a picture of the projeckt im about to start (note: i should be starting the redoing of the resume...but as you can see, painting takes priority)

paint color::RED

Posted by Posted by illusion at 2:04 AM
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Thursday, February 11, 2010


the male specie is seriously disappointing me lately ::shakes head:: yea. thats all im saying. we'll see how i hold out.


i have better things to discuss though...for i have seen the picture icon ^_^!!



a snow storm hit..for real! not like the invisible one we had friday night. once again, im trying to look for beauty in garfield. i think its just not on my street ^_^;; however, freshly fallen snow makes things look a little more...dainty.


my sleepy life, at the moment. i probably spent all of the snow day in this general area of ma room.

preference: night time. its still. its when i feel most like myself :)


there he is!!! isnt he adorable?! definitely needs a haircut though. but...i like him =^____^=

Posted by Posted by illusion at 1:56 PM
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Monday, February 8, 2010


that's it. the answer is right there.


just let go.

now, to put it into action...

Posted by Posted by illusion at 6:04 PM
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i cannot continue like this.


i need to gain my mind back. so. nails. stop. mind. start. when im not doing something that involves my concentration, my concentration will be on myself. let's see how i do at it :) myself intrinsically. i cannot go through life anymore just….going. doing. i need being. and so. i shall. for it is written, right?


it all keeps hitting me every so often. more frequently (i had written over and over again..no pun intended, but i thought why not make another post of it? smart ^_^ you'll see!). this overwhelming sadness washes through me and leaves me drained. instantaneously. i could be fine. then kA-BAM. crushed. but, i have a few things that help me out ^^


over analyzation. thinking of things you have no control over for example, a lover's thoughts, a friend's actions, trying to figure them out before they happen and be affected by your made-up thoughts, or what you think they are thinking, is bound to make you crazy. i say it with respect.


and i think that is what i do -_-;; yea, i know, what the fuck, right? why would someone do that to themselves?


…i've gotten better at not doing it. so! this gives me hope in gaining control of my mind and emotions. to a certain extent. they can have control, too. that is the beauty of it.


this can also work with nail biting ^________^;;;;; the hope part. and control part.


hah, you know which show i finished watching and had a great time? scrubs: med school. yea, i know its been over for a bit now, but! i really enjoyed it.


another thing! my chi pet just said, 'fuck you, bitch' i love him. i think he's like 6 or 7 days old. its great. when i first got him, he died about 3 times ::widget:: and he's so green!! ill see if i can post a picture.


'somewhere during that short thoughtless second when I’d sprinted across the icy lot, I had transformed from killer to protector.' - i've started midnight sun....yet again <3

Posted by Posted by illusion at 4:58 PM
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