Thursday, July 22, 2010


timing.
(i felt like writing this time)

timing is everything. not timing as in...3:45 in the pm. or 7:21 in the am. timing as in the flow of things. timing as a concept? i saw inception the other night. this is probably what has brought up the writing. i mean, ive been wanting to write. and things start in my mind. but im never by a computer to start writing. sure, i can do it pen and paper, but im usually not by those either. so i end up forgetting most of what i want to write.

sometimes just keeping your mouth shut for a little bit longer, waiting for the right time to say something act on something react to something is better than acting on impulse. though impulse, is a beautiful thing. this i will not deny. impulses allow you to see what the person really wants to do. feels they need to do. before logical thinking sets in.

timing.

as in the flow of events. things reacting to each other. happens so fast. or so slow. life continues...and the world keeps spinning. the universe reacts to reactions happening within itself. we live accordingly to what we want, right? sorta? yea, i know.


im tired of trying to make everybody happy. you can't please everybody.
people are not going to be happy if they do not want to.

there are things more important in this world than having a job, money, social stability..why are some people set on making that the best it can be? while some of us care more for the feeling side of things? the former i believe is in a better position. who will keep the emotions alive? some people have to. perhaps i am just making excuses...

lately i have not been in the wanting of making decisions of any sort. but why is everything being left up to me? i dont want this. i dont want to be in charge of anything. but i feel like i have to be.

you have to stand your ground. be selfish at times. but anna, even if its at the expense of a loved one? that you've held so close and dear to you? how can you allow this downfall?

stand your ground or else you will lose it

friends are so important. this is not understood enough. this and the golden rule. and friends have to know how important they are. not to everyone, but to a certain few. and they have to know their role. when to step in. when to let slide. true friends are comrades. they will go against you if they must to save you. thats how you know. i have come across a few (not many since these are not abundant things) real good groups of friends. observing them gives good feelings. makes you think. makes you crave. im happy for those people. sometimes you know you will never be a part of them, though taken in. but to watch the closeness is an honor. at least, thats how i feel it to be.

we are just beings. individual beings. to each their own. but a mentality such as this...will it lead to a lonely life?


by the way...
note:....and if anyone can find these undies for meh, you are a true friend. haha just kidding. but if you can direct me to a store, then i will love you long time ;p

i absolutely MUST have these!!!

♥!

Posted by Posted by illusion at 12:30 PM
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Thursday, July 8, 2010


a: i dont really see 12:34 anymore. i catch it at 12:31. its annoying.


k: its because you moved to garfield.

a: zomg. i think you're right! why has my life shifted by 3 minutes?!

k: ... ^_^

sometimes its hard being friends with people. things, as they always do and will, get to you. you do have the choice, to just walk away and not be bothered anymore. but then why the hell would you do that to a friend?

thats how you know the keepers.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 3:07 AM
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Tuesday, July 6, 2010



hearing the music


is just like


seeing the colors of trance


and


feeling the power of acid

Posted by Posted by illusion at 3:10 AM
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Friday, July 2, 2010


i dont know what to do.


what do you do when you lose someone you never really wanted to lose. i dont feel like talking about it anymore. but this hits home. it hits close. this stays in me. as he would say, 'its my burden to bear'.

we all have our burdens.

when you think about that, you realize that we are human. lately ive had to plead for people to understand that we are just human. i think i should keep that into account more.

ive been told not to feel bad. but you know what? i do. and im not trying to get rid of this pain. perhaps i am a masochist and i enjoi the sadness. or im just trying to hold on to him somehow still. itll pass when it passes, and when it does, that will be the moment of truth.

my emotions are strong. relatively speaking, ive gone through a fair bit these past few weeks. ive seen the universe give and take. and then destroy.

necessity?
product?
by-product?
unfortunate series of events? *thinking this way amuses the shite out of me. the more i stand by this, the more connections are seen. i think i should stop trying to see all the connections and just...be. perhaps i am seeing them bc i want to. like, selective hearing.


i fucked up a bit this time.
and i dont feel well anymore.

(and by the by, brazil is out of the 2010 world cup.)

Posted by Posted by illusion at 10:57 AM
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Saturday, June 26, 2010


*this morning when i awoke i went to go wash my face, i paused for a moment. i felt like i had woken up in california. same feeling.


*a few weeks ago, on an early sat morning, i was making a usual left turn to go down banta and then to midland, i felt like i was driving in cyprus.

what is this telling me?

Posted by Posted by illusion at 3:21 PM
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now this, im not sure where to go with it. i could make a treble clef in between. i could extend the left side and make it into a background image. i could keep it as is :)

just a doodle. i have to admit, its fun playing around with this program. the trombone's adobe illustrator is kinda on the sick side.

its saturday morning!! a lovely sat morning, too.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 1:28 PM
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one piece. 457 episodes!! i accidently watched episode 456 ^_^;; a good friend told me to check it out a while back. and i randomly decided yesterday morning to start watching it. ep. 7?


elfen lied. intense. 12 episodes total. its captivating.


Posted by Posted by illusion at 2:24 AM
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