Thursday, March 11, 2010


i feel like love and hate are in the same part of a person's brain
*krishna

i think she's right. both are passionate emotions. both are targeted at a specific person. when you're in love and you see that person, something stirs. when you see someone you dislike. fine. hate (such a strong word!), something stirs.

sure.
one could argue: what about nervousness? and contentment? and joy? and sadness? those also do the same, no?

sure they do.
but i find, love and hate (sorrow, yes, but i mean deep sadness, for another being, not depression. got it? depression is mental as they say your mind doesn't get enough of something, so they give you a pill to supplement it. nah. figure it out and fix it. anyway. i digress.) to be deep deep rooted. powerful emotions.

is it about control?

i came home last night after a long ass fucking day and felt like complete shit. i was like damn, i woke up feeling terrible and am coming home feeling terrible? damn. then i saw this on the table:


thank you casm :D totally made my night better. mini reese's peanut butter cups are like fucking crack. shit. i was elated when i saw them. watched role models til megavideo said 'halt! its been 72 minutes! you cannot pass!' . tried to fold laundry but just fell asleep. it was lovely.

apparently, i have a shit list. i figured it out the other day. see, well, you can't see, but something is already stirring inside. this is why i've decided to be laid back all the time; my anger is not fun. but yes, i let a lot of things slide that get me upset, but this is past the limit. it's all a test :) a test in controlling emotions. in seeing things from all ways when others cannot. planning. choosing the right moment....at the right time. exciting to realize what is going to ensue if i have the guts to do it.

balls.
i have to get my day started. but first, playlist time, bitches.


i liked how the light made things look

Posted by Posted by illusion at 1:26 PM
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