there is always the fine print to catch

Monday, March 29, 2010


this will be a series: of what i wanted to post for days. the internet gods are on my side. at least for the time being, that is (thank you for internet!).


impossible things are happening eeeeeehhhh-vvveeeerrryyyyy daaaaaaayyyyyyyy!

yes, this has been stuck in my head, as well as 'casm's, for the past few days. the past nights, i've been playing in the orchestral pit of Cinderella. fort lee high school did a musical production of it. 'casmGASM came the first night and loved it. it was nice to see someone out in the audience waving at you then having a good time ^__^;;; she was sitting next to some interesting characters...but, i digress.

seeing the students' hard work put into action, feeling the excitement and joy of the entire room, experiencing how the music so eloquently ties it all together and knowing i was a part of it, feels...

awesome. as cheesy a high school musical production is, its a good feeling.

then...

(stay tuned*)



(*yea, i did it. im making you wait. doing like a three part series and what not. mhmmm, im a badass. you're a badass. he, she, it are badasses. oh yea. oh right. we should be dancing. music's got you feeling so free. everybody dance so free. daft punk, anyone? yea? yeaaaaa.)

Posted by Posted by illusion at 6:34 PM
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i dont want

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


i'm a scary gargoyle on a tower
that you made with plastic power
your rhinestone eyes are like
factories far away
with the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep
drive on engines til they weep we're
future pixels in factories far away
so call the mainland from the beach
our pod is now washed up in bleach the
waves are rising
for this time of year
and nobody knows what to do with the heat
under sunshine pylons we'll meet while
rain is falling like rhinestones from the sky

can't see it now my heart is frozen
all the birds and all that grows are
tapping at the natives in my soul
i prayed on the immovable
you're clinging to the atoms and I'm
seeing the adjustment signs of change
and I can't see now she said taxi
the light is all that I can take
this storm brings strange royalties, and skies
i'm a scary gargoyle on a tower
that you made with plastic power
your rhinestone eyes are like
factories far away

(here we go again)

That's Electric
helicopters fly over the beach
same time everyday, same routine
clear target in summer
when skies are blue
it's part of the noise when winter comes
it reverberates in my lungs
nature's corrupted
in factories far away

That's Electric
your love's like rhinestones, falling from the sky

That's Electric
we're future pixels in factories far away

Posted by Posted by illusion at 4:41 PM
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plantlife

i say do it. i dont care what, just do it. jam me, jack me, push me, pull me, talk hard.

TALK
HARD

Talk hard, I like that. It's like a dirty thought in a nice clean mind.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 11:16 AM
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what is the basic nature of human beings

Tuesday, March 16, 2010



psychedelic belugas!
taken from bbc's 'the blue planet,' frozen seas



(think about the nature of things)

Posted by Posted by illusion at 2:23 AM
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10 things worth living for

Sunday, March 14, 2010


1. the word "sex" plus any of the following: sweaty, grinding, makeup, exculpatory, oral, and of course, hot monkey.

2. the sweet torque of a perfectly thrown ball: curve, foot-, bowling, doesn't matter.

3. your favorite band's next tour. why the hell didn't you go last time?

4. the new: people. places. tastes. sensations. profanities you haven't tried, like "balls!". gadgets. cars. players on your favorite team. blacktop on your street. information. instruction. friends. lovers. things that grab your imagination, even fleetingly, and make you hunger for more.

5. the surprise of receiving something unsolicited from a woman.

6. inception's release. don't know it? o brother, go forth and google.

7. midsummer, when you can slap an obscenely thick tomato slice on every meal for a week.

8. novels way better than their movies: the beach, by alex garland; a simple plan, by scott smith; and leaving las vegas, by john o'brien.

9. the morning after uninterrupted sleep.

10. sticking around to stick in the craw of those who cannot stand you.


- 'live like you're dying,' chuck palahnuick, written for men's health, april 2010

Posted by Posted by illusion at 7:43 PM
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trip the 'shrooms fantastic and shit gets drastic

Saturday, March 13, 2010


the dance party went well. i had good reason to be as excited as i was.


thoughts are real powerful things. i think this is forgotten because we get lost in life.

you can control more than you think.


*ladies and gentlemen, i present to you, a ramble on one of the most beautiful violin concertos ever written (mostly on its cadenza):

the allegro, molto appassionato (tempo marking for first movement. the tempo markings are also the titles of each movement. by default. allegro = fast. molto appassionato = with much passion) will always pull at my heart and soul. → "The Germans have four violin concertos. The greatest, most uncompromising is Beethoven's. The one by Brahms vies with it in seriousness. The richest, most seductive, was written by Max Bruch. But the most inward, the heart's jewel. is Mendelssohn's." the violinist, Stefan Jackiw, does it complete justice. i find this piece to be very personal; he by far, does it the best, for me.

then, at 7 minutes and 46 seconds, Mendelssohn's cadenza begins. a cadenza is the ostentatious part of the concerto. its put in by the composer to fuck with the soloist's life even more. no, really. believe you me. haha jk. they are difficult, but meant to show the soloist's talent to the extreme. they incorporate the main theme and embellish it up. the one in this concerto is just intense. mendelssohn takes the theme and throws it in between arpeggios, which give out a feeling of longing. you feel the composer's raw emotion. Mr. Jackiw makes love to his violin throughout the piece, but it is especially seen in the cadenza (8:24; knows exactly where to touch. only to make the violin resonate with the perfect intonation)

9:01
final note on the phrase, a very high E, drawn out on the edge of a musical cliff about to drop with arpeggios. the cadenza, belongs to the soloist. the notes, and a tempo marking are all that are given. that means unlimited ways to interpret. why i like Jackiw's version of the cadenza, esp. from this point on, is because it is very similar to how i like to play it. very similar that it makes me have goosebumps. and because of what happens at

9:22-9:23
the way he holds out that low B, holding you in the suspension until the half-step resolution up to the C, because its so sweet yet melancholy. yes, all in a second. then in the next measure 9:26-9:27 the B is held again but this time sighs down a half-step to the sharp A.

the calm ending to the cadenza is where Mendelssohn decides to bring the orchestra back in! just listen to the ending!!! he gently slips the orchestra in. flawlessy. calm ending is not the word. a far away longing. pining? here you hear the power and explosiveness of Mendelssohn's arpeggios. they ranged from calm to violent yet maintained the theme...

i believe the violin and i are a good match.


...you may just get lucky tonight.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 7:27 PM
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alles cla

Thursday, March 11, 2010


i hope i do not come across as an unhappy stressed out person

quite the opposite. though stressed, it doesn't matter because there are many things to be happy about

^__^


things are definitely deeply connected. at least good things are.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 5:36 PM
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the tolerance of uncertainty

i feel like love and hate are in the same part of a person's brain
*krishna

i think she's right. both are passionate emotions. both are targeted at a specific person. when you're in love and you see that person, something stirs. when you see someone you dislike. fine. hate (such a strong word!), something stirs.

sure.
one could argue: what about nervousness? and contentment? and joy? and sadness? those also do the same, no?

sure they do.
but i find, love and hate (sorrow, yes, but i mean deep sadness, for another being, not depression. got it? depression is mental as they say your mind doesn't get enough of something, so they give you a pill to supplement it. nah. figure it out and fix it. anyway. i digress.) to be deep deep rooted. powerful emotions.

is it about control?
☆

i came home last night after a long ass fucking day and felt like complete shit. i was like damn, i woke up feeling terrible and am coming home feeling terrible? damn. then i saw this on the table:


thank you casm :D totally made my night better. mini reese's peanut butter cups are like fucking crack. shit. i was elated when i saw them. watched role models til megavideo said 'halt! its been 72 minutes! you cannot pass!' . tried to fold laundry but just fell asleep. it was lovely.

apparently, i have a shit list. i figured it out the other day. see, well, you can't see, but something is already stirring inside. this is why i've decided to be laid back all the time; my anger is not fun. but yes, i let a lot of things slide that get me upset, but this is past the limit. it's all a test :) a test in controlling emotions. in seeing things from all ways when others cannot. planning. choosing the right moment....at the right time. exciting to realize what is going to ensue if i have the guts to do it.

balls.
i have to get my day started. but first, playlist time, bitches.


i liked how the light made things look

Posted by Posted by illusion at 1:26 PM
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i am too nice...

Sunday, March 7, 2010


..and am starting to hate it.











Posted by Posted by illusion at 1:51 PM
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thank you for not being not asshole

i finished the 51st episode of soul eater.

i found out after, that it was the last episode.

:/

it was awesome. i would definitely watch all 51 again.

these are next on the list:
fairy tale
one piece
bleach
full metal alchemist

...wait a second. since when did i become one of those kiddies who watched anime all the time? O_o; perhaps i should step back and do something else for a while. however, i will watch this first episode of fairy tale...now.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 6:19 AM
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its starting...the battle between two gods.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


soul eater is not a cartoon for children just looking for attention grabbing action. it requires thinking. i'd like to see what a kid would say after watching something like this.



kishin: very evil dude. became this way by eating human souls.


shinigami::lord death: gangsta.

during their epic battle, they have a profound discussion of imagination happiness and madness.

(best watched between the hours of 1 am and 5am)bc your mind is free to think in the silence of the night. the world is still. (i've been thinking about you lately)makes you think of connections the anime is nice on connections for example the technicians and their weapons.

episode...50? 51? maka goes deep into soul's conscious to rescue him from evil and encounters the demon that haunts soul's mind.

connections bw people are real. well, you know when they are real. its cool.

i am running late (thats been my thang lately) for picking up my bro from work. then supermarket to get ingredients for onion and vegetable...dip!...for my dad and gf's bday thing which i have to attend later today

-_-;;

yea. there is always a catch


best line in the episode

Posted by Posted by illusion at 5:46 PM
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i cannot stand the way you tease

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


from the start, i had no idea how the two giant triangles were going to fit.



awww, whaaaaaat?
*think stewie from the multi-verse episode in the parallel universe of dog-human role reversal and brian just called stewie 'his human, hotchkiss'


i must have redone this one numerous times. it got me. for real. and then. one turn of the triangle lead to this.



ah, yes. the taste of sweet, sweet succexy-ness.


who's the boss now, huh tangram guzzle bird?!



BOO-YAH!

Posted by Posted by illusion at 7:58 PM
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point of view: ii

Monday, March 1, 2010


is it awareness?


i think that may be the word. being aware of your surroundings, and focused at the same time. this takes practice.

i miss practice.

see yourself from an external point of view. take one of those video cameras that can swoop up down everywhere around and see yourself in your head at every angle so you can feel completely grounded within yourself and where you are in accordance with where everything else is.

i was in the doctor's office today. you know how they do. you finally get to go in the doctor's office, but then are waiting for another twenty minutes or so until the doctor actually shows. as i was waiting. i overheard her talking (i recognized her voice from the last time i saw her). she was on the phone with a lady, giving her her pregnancy due date.

august 21.
(dimitri's birthday ♥)
^____^!
it made me smile as i was sitting there.


on saturday evening, the trombonist performed with one of his many salsa bands. he rocked. casm and i really enjoied their performance :) and to top it off, there was food..and it was free! :D (pictures are on le fcbk::once i finished cropping a few ^_^;;) there was such a fun vibe about the room. most likely from everyone dancing and good music.

dancing + good music = fun vibes


we are peculiar people, you and i.

Posted by Posted by illusion at 7:43 PM
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