|muse:|

its sunday morning. may 23rd. went to sleep real early last night. by 10 i was in bed. i needed the sleep. woke up alone. again. its mornings such as this where id like to wake up next to someone. i guess sunday mornings are those mornings. a friend introduced me to a great site: stereomood.com (yes, the site repeats songs on dif playlists, but its not like its a bother to rehear them. they are good. and i like the lists.)

currently:

- listening to 'amber' by 311 on the 'good karma' playlist

- in bed with a shirt i bought yesterday which i will design today

- contemplating on making coffee, smoking a bowl, reading, designing, drawing, or going on hulu ('cams turned me on to some good shows this past week) its 10:25 in the morning.

-texting conversing with (hmm, lets come up with an alias for her…) endocet. the ewok. im glad we've reconnected. ive been through a lot with this girl. no wonder we needed our time apart. kept in contact at times, with a hey. yea, you still exist kinda thing. def not with the same intensity as before. it hurt my heart, but its slowly coming back together, and i couldn't be happier about it. really :)

hm. i shall make coffee, smoke, and paint. yes, i know. wasn't even on my list. but thats how i roll.

*sigh* i just moved around and found that i don't have the energy needed for those activities yet..

i don't smoke too much. i just happen to smoke whenever the fuck i want (okay, not whenever), but if i have a means in my drawer, then i will. if i want to keep this up, not too sure, i need to exercise. i know i dance, but not enough. my body gets tired lately. fast.

*need to shower*

this week, i think i will practice being quiet, and not biting nails. i can handle those two things. i just need to be fully conscious at all times and not let these things happen unconsciously.

update: my lens is fixed!!!! thank you 'casm!!! in the end, it was her still hands that fixed the connection. and it works beautifully. took 439 pictures at the trombone's gig. they did fantastic! the crowd was shouting 'one more song, one more song!' i was quite proud for him ^__^

*let's just say, by the time i am posting this (now), ive only made breakfast and showered. and have to go to my dads. nothing has gotten done that i wanted. but thats ok :)

...be careful as to what you wish for.

love is not understood anymore

i've said it before. and i still believe it. his soul is not of this world, this time. it has a strong wavelength that this world is not equipped for today. only few are like this. our wavelengths will align again one day.

*-----

oh man. i don't belong in this state. baltimore south los angeles..where these programs exist! to help children through music. with music. i am not needed in new jersey. my help is needed elsewhere. oh man.

watch this. a venezuelan man wants change to happen through music.

finally.

someone had to pave the way, i guess. step into the unknown for the rest to follow suit (your words ring in my head)

students really want to learn here..and the difference is seen! i think this is where i need to go.

its like air its like water like breathing i need music i always need to be surrounded by the sound and the magic

what is the message:

that through music through art is possible to change life of thousands of children. of a society. through music.

this man is a genius. i want to go watch how they teach groups of kids. its beautiful. perhaps i will start a program at the library. a beta. let's see where it goes.

in order for something to work efficiently, it has to be able to stand on its own.